Wax On, Fists Out!
Some music stories begin with a guitar riff.
Some begin with a forgotten record.
And every once in a while, you find a story that has absolutely nothing to do with music until you realize:
Wait a minute… this is way too strange not to spin.
Welcome to Strange But True.
When the Wax Got Real
Wax museums are supposed to be peaceful places.
You walk through the galleries.
You admire famous people.
You take a picture.
Maybe you stand next to a celebrity and pretend you’re old friends.
What you generally aren’t supposed to do is walk up to the celebrity and rearrange his face.
But visitors at Louis Tussaud’s Waxworks in San Antonio apparently had other ideas.
The museum’s Donald Trump figure was repeatedly punched and scratched, leaving visible damage to the wax face.
Eventually, management had enough.
The figure was removed from public display and put into storage.
Apparently, even a wax president needs a little protection from the public.
But Here’s the Strange Part
Trump wasn’t the only presidential figure to experience a little hands-on political commentary.
According to reporting from the San Antonio Express-News, other presidential figures had taken some abuse too.
George W. Bush’s nose had been punched.
And Barack Obama’s ears?
They were reportedly torn off six times.
Six.
At that point, we’re not sure whether this is a presidential gallery or the world’s strangest boxing gym.
The Problem With Wax
Here’s the thing about wax presidents.
They don’t argue back.
They don’t yell.
They don’t call their lawyers.
They just stand there looking presidential while somebody decides they have personally become the target of political frustration.
The museum tried moving the Trump figure into the lobby so employees could keep an eye on it.
That didn’t solve the problem.
Eventually, the figure needed repairs.
Because apparently “Please don’t punch the wax president” needed to become an actual museum policy.
A Little Presidential Protection
The museum eventually repaired the Trump figure and returned it to display.
But there was a lesson buried in all that damaged wax:
Maybe putting fragile presidential figures within easy punching distance of the public isn’t the best museum design.
When Joe Biden’s wax figure was introduced, the presidential figures were displayed with barriers.
A simple message:
Look all you want.
Take pictures.
Please keep your fists to yourself.
And Then the Story Took Another Turn
The original incident happened years ago, and the story has occasionally resurfaced online as though the Trump figure is still sitting forgotten in storage.
It isn’t.
The figure was repaired and eventually returned to the presidential gallery.
So the wax survived.
The face survived.
The museum survived.
And the presidential gallery carried on.
Apparently, retirement from public life is considerably easier when you’re made of wax.
Why This Belongs in Strange But True
This is one of those stories that sounds like somebody made it up after a couple of drinks.
But the basic story is real.
Visitors damaged presidential wax figures.
Trump got punched.
Bush got punched.
Obama lost his ears repeatedly.
And museum employees had to repair the damage.
There is something wonderfully bizarre about that.
We spend our lives arguing about politicians.
We vote.
We complain.
We celebrate.
We disagree.
And apparently, some people walk into a wax museum and decide to take the argument directly to the exhibit.
Fortunately, the wax figures have one enormous advantage over the real thing:
They can’t hear you.
The Unofficial Rules of the Presidential Wax Gallery
After all this, Funk-n-Soul would like to propose a few simple rules:
Rule #1: Please don’t punch the exhibits.
Rule #2: Please don’t remove their ears.
Rule #3: Please don’t rearrange their noses.
Rule #4: Remember that the wax figure isn’t actually the politician.
Rule #5: Photography is encouraged.
Boxing is not.
The Strange Truth
Maybe that’s what makes this story so much fun.
It’s not really about one particular president.
It’s about the wonderfully strange things people do when they encounter a famous face staring back at them.
Only this face happens to be made of wax.
And when the public starts taking swings at the exhibits, somebody has to break out the repair kit.
So somewhere in San Antonio, there is a collection of presidents who have collectively experienced:
politics, history, fame, controversy…
and apparently, a few unexpected trips to the wax surgeon.
One More Spin
Funk-n-Soul isn’t just about records.
It’s about the stories that make us stop, laugh, wonder, remember, and say:
“You have got to be kidding me.”
This one definitely qualifies.
A wax president.
A few flying fists.
A couple of missing ears.
A punched nose.
And a museum learning that sometimes the hardest part of preserving history…
is keeping the visitors from rearranging it.
The record is spinning. Let’s see where it takes us. 💿🎶
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